Depression
by Nightlife666
Summary: Can B'Elanna help Kathryn out of a depression.


Depression.

B'Elanna sat in her living room watching the television Tom built for her last birthday. She had about an hour before she had to get ready for her shift so she settled on a silly show about people hurting themselves doing stupid stunts. She sat in silence for awhile just watching when she heard her bedroom door open. She looked to see and very sleepy red-head rubbing her eyes standing there.

_She is so cute._

"Morning beautiful."

The older woman walked over to the couch curling up and resting her head on her shoulder. The utter sadness in her eyes clinched at B'Elanna's heart.

"Baby are you ok?"

The redhead shook her head no looking down at her their entwined fingers. B'Elanna turned the TV off and turned to face her lover.

"Kathryn what is it?"

Kathryn looked up at her then back down at their hands.

"I had a nightmare."

B'Elanna put her free hand on Kathryn's cheek rubbing her thumb over her lips. Kathryn's eyes fluttered shut.

"And it has you this upset?"

Kathryn nodded not trusting her voice just then.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I don't remember it."

B'Elanna swung her legs up onto the couch pulling Kathryn to lie on top of her with her head resting on her chest. She ran her fingers through the auburn lochs trying to calm the older woman down.

"It's ok love I'm not going anywhere."

"You have to be in engineering in half an hour."

B'Elanna let out a soft laugh.

"Well I am hoping you'll be asleep by then."

Kathryn's retort was cut off by her commbadge.

"_Chakotay to Janeway."_

Kathryn lent over toward the coffee table to answer her first officer.

"Janeway here."

"_Captain I know you took today off but we are picking up an M class planet on long ranger sensors. Should we alter course? Maybe try and get some down time for the crew?"_

"Talk to Neelix and see if he knows anything about the planet first."

"_Understood Chakotay out."_

Kathryn got up off B'Elanna and walked into the bedroom hands covering her face. B'Elanna jumped up and followed.

"Baby what's going on?"

Kathryn turned to her tears free flowing down her cheeks.

"I. . . I don't know."

B'Elanna had her in her arms within seconds of seeing the tears. She pulled her with her to the bed lying down. Kathryn had her face buried in the brunettes chest sobbing. B'Elanna rubbed her back trying to get the tears to stop. Seeing her girlfriend like this was killing her heart.

"Maybe I should stay with you today."

Kathryn shook her head.

"I don't. . . want you. . . feelin' like you have to be with me when I get like this."

B'Elanna sighed her acceptance.

"Fine but I want you to stay here. Ok?"

Kathryn nodded and let go of the brunette.

"I'm gonna go shower and get ready. You try and sleep ok?"

Kathryn pulled B'Elanna's pillow to her and hugged it as if she were hugging her.

"Ok."

B'Elanna showered and dressed. Standing in her bedroom she watched the red head sleep for a moment before leaving for a very long shift. She sat in her office for a few hours getting reports done and diagnostic checks assigned. Her stomachs started to growl so she went to the mess hall for lunch deciding she would check on Kathryn after. Sitting alone at her table she tried to eat Neelix's latest concoction. She caught Tom and Harry walking toward her out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't in the mood for Tom's questions about her and Kathryn's sex life.

"Hey 'Lanna how are things between you and the Captain?" Harry asked genuinely curious.

"They are fine Harry thanks."

"You look distracted B'Ell everything ok?" Tom asked.

B'Elanna put her fork down and ran her hands over her face. When she put them down Chakotay was at the table.

"Where the hell did you come from?" She asked him.

The three men laughed. B'Elanna looked him deadpanned.

"I just walked in."

She shook her head.

"You didn't answer my question." Tom verbally poked her for information.

"I. . . I am worried about Kathryn."

The three men's ears perked up at the mention of their commanding officer and friend.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay asked.

"She had a nightmare this morning and she came out of my room looking like she would start crying any second, which is exactly what she did when she ended her conversation with you." She pointed to Chakotay.

The other two men glared at him. He saw their glares and dropped his fork.

"All I did was ask her about the M class planet."

Harry and Tom's gazes switched back to B'Elanna.

"I know what you guys talked about but when you signed out she got up and went back into my room in tears."

"But this is the kind of thing she deals with everyday." Harry stated.

"I know. We all know that. I think she needs more than a day off you guys and I wanna be with her but she didn't want me to feel obligated to be with her today."

Chakotay put his drink down and looked B'Elanna right in the eye.

"It sounds to me like you wanna be with her not like you feel like you have too."

B'Elanna nodded her agreement.

"Then go be with her. If there is something that happens in engineering that Carey can't handle I'll call you. Fair?"

B'Elanna nodded and threw her arms around her old friend.

"I love you guys you know that right?"

The three men nodded.

"Ok. I'll see you guys later."

After recycling her food she went back to her quarters. When she got there she saw Kathryn's silhouette standing by the window. She walked over to her wrapping her arms around her waist. She felt the taller woman stiffen.

"It's me baby."

She kissed her shoulder and rested her head on her back.

"'Lanna why are you with me?"

The question took B'Elanna by surprise. She let go of Kathryn and walked around to face her.

"Where did that come from?"

"There are younger prettier woman on this ship why me?"

B'Elanna saw all of Kathryn's insecurities starting to show and she had to kill them. She pulled Kathryn to her and kissed her soundly leaving no room for objection. Kathryn kissed her back hands on the brunette's hips. When they pulled apart for much needed air B'Elanna looked Kathryn right in the eye like Chakotay did to her earlier.

"I am with you because I want you. If I wanted anyone else I would be with them. Kathryn your age doesn't bother me and you are the most beautiful and sexiest women I have ever met. I am here because I want to be."

Her hands started moving over Kathryn's body as if cementing everything she was saying with a touch.

"Sweetie I don't want anyone else I only want you. You are my other. You ground me and keep my temper in check. Baby please don't ever doubt my love for you. If there was anything that would push me away it would be that."

B'Elanna hand her hands on either side of Kathryn's face whipping her tears away. Kathryn collapsed into her lovers arms sobbing. B'Elanna pulled her to the floor slowly sitting down with her back against the couch and resting Kathryn's head on her lap. She stroked her hair like she did that morning. They sat that way for what seemed like hours. Kathryn sat up and wrapped her arms around B'Elanna.

"I love you B'Elanna. I am sorry about this."

"Kathryn don't every apologies for being human."

B'Elanna stood up and pulled Kathryn with her. She started walking back to her bedroom with her.

"Don't you have to go back to engineering?"

"If something happens that Carey and my team can't handle Chakotay will call me. Now I am going to show you how much I love you and I want you."

Kathryn smiled and kissed her lover as the door to the bedroom closed behind her.


End file.
